Happy New Year

I'm in awe that new years keep on happening and with greater frequency than ever before. Meaningless perhaps, only a date on a calendar, but I put a lot of stock in new beginnings so January first will always mean something here. 2011 was full and beautiful and also so altering that I'm struggling to make sense of it. Bite-sized chunks will have to do.

I worshiped Elmwood. I woke up to see the sunrise and fell asleep swatting mosquitoes. I lay in bed and wished I never had to go home. I cursed New York a few times.

I fell in love with my camera. I pretty much figured out how to use it. I still have a long way to go.

I moved things around. I moved them back again. I grew stagnant. I took huge leaps. I was so nervous I almost threw up. Only once I actually did.

I launched my website. I was terrified. I lost perspective. I found it. Sometimes I screamed and cried and made a huge scene. I live alone so nobody saw it.

I dreamt some big dreams. I told people a few and a few I kept for myself.

I felt at ease. I felt at home. I felt understood and appreciated. I felt alone sometimes, but didn't mind.

I walked up to a boy and asked him to get a drink. For the first time in my life. Apparently it's not a big deal.

I made messes. I ran out of storage. I prayed for a huge, prewar industrial loft to work in. I didn't get it.

I foraged. Like crazy. I learned tree names and clipped more than I needed. I made friends with an old Italian gardener in my neighborhood. I grew flowers on my fire escape.

I traveled. Close to home and a little further away. I had 143lbs of flowers overnight fedexed to the beach. I really loved teaching classes. Oregon stole my heart.

I was grateful and humbled. I asked for help and tried to give it, too. You were really there for me and I appreciated it.

2012 is somewhat of a mystery, but I love a good mystery anyways. Resolutions seem like an afterthought for me this year, let's just instead search out a few moments of ridiculous happiness and not think too hard on where we'll find them. Here's to another one with you.